A Special Kind of Rude
So I played a match yesterday, and it was a tough one. It was mixed doubles and things were close! During the match I fought hard on one point hitting it to the baseline, defending well and forcing a weak loopy return. I came fast into the net for an easy put-away…..and….oops……totally missed it. The ball flew way way out of the court. Exactly like this shot from Stan Wawrinka (76secs)
I honestly thought little of it. Everyone make mistakes. The match itself was decided over about 100 points. Hopelessly messing up some points is part of the game. If you obsess over it, your game will deteriorate. The best thing to do is shake it off and carry on.
However what I didn’t expect and have never seen before is the reaction of one their players. Let’s call her “Claire” because that was her name…..so let’s use that!
When I missed the shot, Claire was literally was in hysterical laughter for about 30 seconds. The game could not continue whilst we waited for her to complete her fit of laughter.
The game continued. Let me say, everyone made mistakes during this match. I served a few games where “Claire” did not return the ball at all. 20% of my serves to her aces. I made no comment. Once in a while I would say “bad luck” if she missed a few in a row.
A few games later, there was a ridiculously easy smash at the net. I am usually pretty good at the net but on this occasion I missed it…in the sense the ball went into the net from less than 1m away. I guess it was a comedy moment…but who was it a comedy moment for? For me. I can laugh at myself. hell I can swear at myself, but thats my choice. But guess what? Yup, Claire erupted in hysterics, at the top of her voice, across all the indoor courts her laughter rang out. I have never heard anyone laugh so hard, yet alone in a tennis match.
The first time, I just shook it off. The second time, I said to my partner “that lady is in hysterics, whats up with that?” To be honest I was disturbed by her reaction and initially I wasn’t sure why.
The thing is when you make a mistake, its actually good to laugh it off. The laughter is a message saying “omg, that was so out of character, what are the chances!” BUT that’s only if its your laughter. Sure share it with YOUR team mates…its all good, you move on, play better, continue the game.
What was going on here was something entirely different. Claire was not laughing with me, or sharing a fun moment. She was entirely mocking me as if I was a raw beginner and she had never seen a mistake a tennis before.
What is an appropriate reaction to a opponents error?
Imagine a beginner comes to the court, and they serve into the back fence do you?
The answer is #1 or #2. OK it is not really “bad luck” but you are being nice so “bad luck” is perfectly acceptable. #3 Giving out free tips is not warranted *unless they are asked for” because to do so puts you in a position of authority that was not asked for. In short “who put you in charge?”
#4 and #5 are totally out of order because you are not helping or encouraging the new player; rather you are completely under-mining them. You are dining-out at their expense. And wait, you never made a mistake? You never did something stupid on the court. I guess you are so distanced from mistakes they only happen once a year in your worlds and are so so funny I guess? In short. You arse!
A whole collection of rude
A few weeks before I went to a men’s doubles Sunday practice session at my local club. I was pretty new, and I randomly joined by this really tall player who often plays with his dad. We had never met before but I saw that no doubt he had a strong serve.
Immediately he said “who are you?!” in a I-am-not-very-interested-in-you kind of way. I said “I am new” and then he said nothing else to me at all. Not a single word through the whole game. So the game started and remember we are on the same team and its a 100% friendly game.
He went to serve first, so I face the net and waited……….and waited….and waited some more…. but all he did was bouncing the ball up and down in his left hand without starting to serve. Minutes passed. A small ice age came and went. He then walked over to me, and said
What the hell! Don’t stand there! I cannot serve with you standing so far back!
He served, I missed the return. He flew into a fit of rage, smashing his racket on the back fence about three times. Sparks flew out. Birds scattered in all directions. I wondered if a guy like this, has to have an especially strong racket for these occasions?
The game ended, we actually did pretty well. The teams were switched, and suddenly this same tall guy was on the opposite side. He served, I returned it badly. It went way up in the air and he had a easy smash……..but he fluffed it badly. It went into the net. I didn’t laugh or smile or say anything. I didn’t react at all. But he did, he said loudly to everyone:
“OMG that beginner (ie me) made me miss that, I was trying so hard not to hit him smack him square in the face!”
After the game the teams were changed again. There is a quircky system where you put your racket in a line and someone calls them at random. As the numbers were called “1,5,6,8″ it was clear we would be randomly chosen to play together again, so after the call was made he rushed over to the line of rackets, and moved my racket to the end of the line, so I was in position 9. Credit to him for knowing which racket I had I guess, but so much for randomization! Looks like he wanted me to sit the next game out I guess.
Excessive Celebration Syndrome
What seems to be happening in tennis is that people vastly over-estimate the importance of their match. If they are playing a friendly they think it is club finals day, if it is club competition, they think its Wimbledon.
The reason you are playing is not to win adulation of the crowd and massive prize money; no wait for it….
The reason you play tennis is to improve your game, be healthy, have fun AND encourage others.
By laughing at the other player’s expense, by being rude, by excessively celebrating when you win a point , or by doing anything that makes other players feel bad all you are doing is ruining their experience of playing tennis with you. Hopefully, they will still like tennis, but I bet they won’t like you. And for sure, they are going to tell everyone else about it, or if you are really really unlucky write about it in a blog like this……somewhere above.
